Jungle Weight Loss Program

Have you been struggling with a few extra pounds? Are you looking for a weight loss plan that is actually proven to be effective? Perhaps you have tried everything and nothing seems to work? Are you frustrated, and disillusioned with your failures and unsure where to turn?

Then our weight loss program is right for you! With six easy-to-understand steps that don’t require any dieting, and are proven to be effective! Don’t look any further, this plan is right for you. You won’t find this offer anywhere else. Stop settling with the status quo when you could have such amazing results! Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the Jungle Weight Loss Program. In six short days you can lose up to 20 lbs! Yes, you heard me correctly, TWENTY pounds in only SIX days! Simply follow these 6 easy steps for the next 6 days and you too could lose up to 20 lbs!

Day 1: Green grass=weight loss
We will begin our program discussing the benefits of green leafy food-stuffs. Green things are good for you. There, now that we have that out of the way lets move on to our program for the day. Today we are going to be taking a short walk through the jungle that is conveniently near-by, just follow me. Now we are going to take a short detour through this area, don’t mind the tearing sensation in your arms and legs, this is where the weight loss comes in. What you experiencing first hand, is razor grass, it is guaranteed to rid you of 2-3 lbs of unnecessary epidermis in no time flat. Come on, keep following me, just think of all the pounds that are being shaved away as we walk, think of how nice it will be to see the scale reading 3 lbs lighter tonight!
Expected outcome: up to 3lbs weight loss of epidermis

Day 2: Meet the Jigger family!
Today will begin with an examination of our feet, yes, our feet. After our lengthy travels through the jungle yesterday it is quite possible that we will have some little friends that have taken up residence in our toes, toe-nails, or soles. There, I see one now, that little red dot with a black center that’s a little tender to touching, that just happens to be Mrs. Jigger as she is feasting on your feet and giving birth to more Jigger babies. Now comes the fun part. I have with me a safety pin, a pair of tweezers, and toe nail clippers, these objects will aid me in removing these tenacious homemakers from your flesh. Don’t mind the pieces of flesh that must be chopped away to reach them, think of it as another pound being chipped away from our goal!
Expected outcome: approximately 1 lb weight loss of flesh

Day 3: Tropical sunlight
Today we are going to bask in the sun of the tropics! No you will not need to change into your swimming attire, all we’ll need is jeans, a t-shirt, and a good pair of shoes. What are we going to be doing? Nothing too difficult, just preparing a small field for transplanting some pumpkins. Here’s your hoe, the holes are already dug, all you have to do is mix the soil, sawdust, and fertilizer and viola you’re finished. Don’t worry, it should only take you about 3 hours. In that time, something will take place within your body. You will notice a strange liquid substance dripping down your forehead, back, abdomen, arms, legs, and even toe-nails, don’t panic, this is expected. As that liquid drains from your body you will see the pounds literally melting away. You will notice extra weight loss if you forgo the sunscreen and allow your skin to turn a nice hearty red, in 2-3 days as that skin peels easily from your body you will potentially add an extra pound to the amount previously lost.
Expected outcome: approximately 6 lbs in sweat, possible 1 lb more in 2-3 days from skin loss

Day 4: Bloodletting
We have much less work cut out for us today. In fact, all we have to do is sit around lazily for the evening. First we’ll take a bumpy tractor ride to a lovely little village called Mashabo, then simply wait for the sun to set. Ah, its getting dark now, and here they come, our friendly little visitors here to make us feel welcome as we enjoy the evening. No, don’t kill them, they’re part of the program. If all goes as planned, today will be very advantageous to our program. Don’t worry, you have enough blood to easily survive, even after these flying creatures have finished their feast. I bet you never thought you’d appreciate mosquitoes!
Expected outcome: up to 6 lbs weight loss in blood

Day 5: Shall we gather at the river…
Today we are taking a scenic journey up the river through the jungle. Don’t mind the threatening clouds in the sky above, its rainy season so they’re expected, in fact I am hoping for a little rain. As we travel on the watery trail before us, take the time to admire the beautiful trees, the bright flowers, the colorful macaws, and maybe we’ll get to see some cute little monkeys. Oh look, its just started pouring rain. Sorry, I don’t have anything to shield us from the rain, but don’t fear, everything is for a purpose. There, the rain is already finished, although we’re sopping wet. But as we travel, something is happening, notice the shivers from the cold air? That was our objective, as you shiver violently throughout the remainder of our trip you have the possibility of losing even more of that stubborn weight.
Expected outcome: possibly 2 lbs of weight loss by shivering

Day 6: Salty tears
Today we are going to spend in the kitchen. Actually, most of it will be spent cooking over the fireside back behind the kitchen to be more exact. Just think of all the tasty things we can make for dinner! Here, let me show you how to get the fire going, its not that hard even thought the wind is blowing. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way its time to get down to business. The menu for today is dahl, rice, and curry eddo, yum! I’m going to put you in charge of the fireside. Yes, I know its smoky, and the wind is blowing it directly in your eyes, but don‘t give up. Just think, we won’t have to use salt in the food because with all the tears coming from your eyes the food will be salty enough.
Expected outcome: up to 1 lb weight loss in tears

If you want to make your dreams of fast and easy weight loss a reality, simply call toll free 1-800-JNGLPLN. CALL NOW! =)