Uncertainties, uncertainties...

What is it about change that makes so many of us avoid it at all costs? We try our best to maintain a semblance of normalcy, we struggle to keep a certain level of "same-ness" in our day-to-day lives. I have decided that the reason we despise change is our fear of the unknown; our uncertainty of how we will approach the unfamiliar.

Change is in the air for me... (see previous post) ...and I find that I too am faced with many uncertainties. It struck me today just how quickly my Sept departure is approaching, and I was left pondering the many unknowns that loom on the horizon.

The fact that I am going to a far-off location is not much of a fear for me, after all, I have been out of the country several times in the past; visiting cultures vastly different than my own. This time, however, I will be without the security of friends, and people I am familiar with. Sure, there will be other Americans there, but I have never met them. This time I am going for much longer than any of my past excursions-8 long months, rather than 2-3 weeks.

The particular concern that I have been pondering is the fact that I will be teaching various health classes, the most daunting of which will be Anatomy and Physiology. To do this I will be drawing much confidence from the various experiences I have had teaching such classes in the past...none!

The questions echoing through my mind are: What if I am horrible at teaching? And how can I teach a class that I haven't taken myself for nearly 4 years? Sure, as a nurse I still know the basics of the human body...but what about cell mytosis, DNA replication, and protein synthesis? Or how about the effects of Actin, Myosin, and Ca++ on muscle movement/contraction? Then there's the relationship of water, electrolyte and acid-base balance, and I won't even begin to pretend to recall all the names of the 206 bones, or the more than 600 muscles in the human body...the list could continue indefinitely. All the different proteins, the many Latin names, mechanisms of function, hormones... I have a vague recollection of studying them at some point in my past, but the certainty that I am not in the least bit equipped or qualified to teach a class in any one of these subjects if I were asked to right now! Teaching will most definitely stretch me out of my comfort zone. So many unknowns, and I haven't even begun to discuss the cultural, language, and lifestyle differences I will encounter.

If I were to sum up my feelings at this exact moment it would probably sound something like "What on earth am I getting myself into??!" I have no doubt that I whole-heartedly want to go to Guyana. What I don't know, is what on earth to expect when I arrive. The unknown, that's what I see stretching before me. A conglomeration of new and exciting experiences, that will challenge me, stretch me, take me out of my comfort zone, teach me, and probably at times frustrate me.

But as I look ahead to my departure in the not-too-distant-future, I am filled with a peace that God is leading me. I know that He has many experiences in store for me, and many lessons to teach me.

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle. "

- Phillip Brooks-