You might be a missionary somewhere in Guyana if…

…you routinely carry toilet paper with you to church

…your feet feel claustrophobic when you put on real shoes because you always wear flip-flops

…you are willing to go to the ends of the earth and do nearly anything to use the internet

…you are genuinely surprised to see clear water in a water bottle

…you’ve learned to ignore giant cockroaches as long as they aren’t pooping in your suitcases

…you’ve ever bargained using Big Franks or Fry Chick

…you’ve ever listened to someone talk to you, knowing full well they are speaking English, and had no idea what they were saying

…you’ve given up on ever having clean feet

…you are no longer surprised to see bats in church flying around the speakers head

…you wake up at 6am with the sun shining in your face feeling like you’ve over slept, and want to go to bed at 7pm because its pitch dark

…you’ve ever had “hey, white girl” or “hey, white boy” yelled at you while walking down the street

…the words ‘razor grass’ instill a healthy level of fear into your mind

…no matter what time of day you leave, or how bright the sun is shining you always bring an umbrella and a flashlight along with you

…you no longer give a second thought to seeing someone in the river bathing in their underwear

…you’ve ever been proposed to by a taxi driver

…you have ever dreamt of using an automatic washing machine and been disappointed when you woke up

…your night time routine includes examining your feet for jiggers and tucking in your mosquito net

…you’ve ever had a sudden craving for things like olives, corn chips, almonds, or popcorn

…you have a habit of checking the toilet for snakes and frogs before using it